This past week ‘Relationship Super Conference’ took place on the ‘Conscious Life’ platform. It’s like Netflix with “the best collection of mindfulness, yoga and spiritual teachings anywhere”.
Day One titled ‘Relationships for Life’ was about strategies for navigating marriage, family and other long-term relationships. Day Two – ‘Dating And Attraction’ – about dating Apps, communication styles, compatibility and polyamory. Day 3: ‘Communication’ – about connection and intimacy. Day 4 was about ‘Sexual Intimacy’ – techniques and tools that support pleasure and health. Day 5 concentrated on ‘Emotional Intimacy’ and tools to create safety and foster connection within ourselves and our relationships. Day 6 was about ‘Self-Love’ and celebrating independence and strengthening one’s relationship with oneself. And finally on Day 7 experts discussed ‘Relating in the World’ by understanding and navigating social and cultural expectations of relationships.
Interviews with over 80 experts were conducted by Alex Howard (the Founder of Conscious Life), Meagen Gibson (the CEO of Conscious Life) and Jaia Bristow (content creator and group facilitator). I have only recognized a few of these experts beforehand and didn’t hear them all speaking. But the ones that I did listen to really delivered. I have learned not only how to work on myself and my issues but also how to recognize other people’s needs. And all the information I took away from this event is very useful in life and every relation – not only romantic but also professional, within the family and with friends.
It is all very simple really – we just need to be aware of our triggers and recognize when we let them take over our life. It will happen from time to time but all we have to do when it does, is to repair the damage. To admit we overreacted and explain why we did or say what we did. We get reactive and the other person gets defensive and it escalates very quickly. So all we need to do is to see ourselves in the Other and not take things personally. With time it will become easier and easier to catch ourselves when that happens and we will realize it faster and faster. And with time we will be even able to take a deep breath and relax before we overreact.
We’ll maybe go for a walk and calm ourselves down and then we will be able to talk about it all, coming from an authentic and loving place. Communication is the most important part of the puzzle. Another one is being vulnerable and honest. Finally, it is important to have clear boundaries. But to have a relationship you need two people – you cannot do it all yourself. So you need to know when to walk away. In the end ‘a true relationship is two unperfect people refusing to give up on each other’.
My biggest take away from this conference was self-love. Again and again I need to be reminded that nobody will give me the love I am looking for and that it is not fair to put such a pressure on anyone. I need to give it to myself, feel it and then share it. I need to love myself unconditionally.